Jordan De Goey needs your support.

Australians are being asked to support AFL player Jordan De Goey as he struggles to cope with the self-inflicted scandals that have earned him three nominations for The Frownlow Medal this year.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

“Jordan’s had a tough year this year and it’s important that everyone in the country gets behind him in this time of need,” began a statement from the Collingwood Magpies.

“Aussies need to get behind one of their heroes, just as they got behind the diggers in WWI, and get him through this rough patch. The most important thing here is to protect Jordan’s welfare going forward, so that he can get back to playing great footy and being such a great Australian.”

Specifically, Australians are being asked to understand the hardship of the modern-day footballer and the enormous stress of being paid a fortune to play a game that you love, even while thousands of people lost their jobs during the pandemic. In addition, Aussies are asked to consider the stress of having to fly all the way to the United States, on a sponsor-funded trip, just to do a few sit ups and push ups.

“We’re also asking all Aussies to send positive affirmations and messages of support via social media, including a few ‘special’ photos if you know what I mean ladies,” winked his agent.

“He wouldn’t mind if people threw in a bit of beer money too.”

Aussies are also being reminded to support his sponsors by buying lots of Monster Energy drinks.

Image: NuNa

Jordan De Goey’s next move.

EXCLUSIVE: Disgraced AFL footballer Jordan De Goey has confirmed he will appear in the next series of Dancing With The Stars once he returns from The USA.

De Goey attracted the attention of the producers of the reality TV show after numerous famous performances on the dance floor.

“Jordan’s a great dancer,” the shows producers confirmed.

“And every time he goes onto a dance floor he makes headlines. That’s why he’s perfect for Dancing With The Stars.”

The producers are referring to two incidents in particular which made the Collingwood star famous. He recently got arrested for assault at a nightclub in New York, and is still awaiting the outcome of an investigation into the incident. He also damaged his hand at a nightclub in St Kilda some years ago. On that occasion, it wasn’t his actions on the dance floor that drew attention, but the fact that he said he damaged his hand playing with his dog, made his coach repeat the lie to the media, then finally admitted to the lie once the truth was revealed.

“That kind of questionable morality and ethics will take Jordan a long way on reality TV,” stressed the producers.

“Let’s not forget, apart from his nightclub antics, he’s also been fined or suspended by the Magpies for incidents such as speeding and driving without a licence.”

“We are certain Jordan will make a great addition to the lineup for DWTS, and our reality show is the perfect next step for the latest disgraced professional footballer. What’s more, Australian women will be beating down the door to be his partner now that he’s been cleared of groping a woman in New York.”

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Jordan De Goey suffers massive blow after court ruling.

Jordan De Goey is devastated after learning that his chances of winning The Fronwlow Medal have decreased following a court ruling in the United States. Authorities have dropped charges of groping a woman that led to the AFL player being arrested in New York recently.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

De Goey had been charged with allegedly groping a woman on the dance floor in a nightclub and assaulting her male friend when he came to assist. The groping charges have been dropped, while the other charges are still being considered.

Before the decision, the Collingwood star was a solid chance of winning The Fronwlow Medal. His charges were severe enough and he had already been nominated twice before in 2021. He has also been nominated many times in previous years, for charges including speeding, drink-driving and driving without a licence.

Furthermore, he was accused of allegedly assaulting a woman in Australia a few years ago, but has a talent for evading prosecution for such charges.

However, the competition for Frownlow honours is extremely strong this year. NRL star Jarryd Hayne is in prison for raping a woman and at least 40 other footballers are in contention. Losing the charge of groping a woman will make it difficult for De Goey to defeat his rivals. That said, history shows that if anyone can do it, Jordan can.

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What is the one tattoo Jordan de Goey wants so desperately?

It’s hard to believe, but there’s one tattoo Jordan de Goey is missing, and the AFL player wants it so much that he got himself arrested in a New York nightclub alongside a famous tattoo artist.

De Goey was charged with assault and forcible touching of a woman in a bar in New York alongside popular Australian tattoo artist Luke Dyson, and the Collingwood player has earned himself his sixth nomination for The Fronwlow Medal, and his third this year alone.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

According to the police report, a 35-year-old woman claims she was groped by two men on the dance floor of the club. Apparently the woman’s male friend intervened and was allegedly punched, kicked and struck in the face with a glass bottle by men who were said to be intoxicated. The man reported pain and swelling to his lips and body. De Goey and Dyson were arrested and taken into custody before the court case.

The Collingwood star is a perennial nominee for The Fronwlow Medal.

He was in the running for the prize in 2017, 2018 and 2020, as well as earlier in 2021, but has never won.

The Magpies favourite earned his first nomination in 2017, for road offences including speeding while driving as a P-plater and sending text messages while stopped at traffic lights, as well as driving a black Maserati GranCabrio at 93km/h in an 80km/h zone last year, without displaying P Plates.

He also claimed to have no idea that his car and motorbike licences had been suspended, and was caught using those vehicles anyway. In 2018, he was caught drink-driving while on P plates, and was suspended by Collingwood.

His most famous nomination came in 2017 – the dog ate my homework incident. On this occasion, De Goey lied about how he hurt his hand, blaming it on his dog. He made his coach lie about it to the media, and later conceded it happened while partying and fighting at a St Kilda nightclub.

What is the tattoo De Goey so desperately wants? We’ll have to wait for the outcome of the US police investigation to find out. At least Dyson can ink him for free if he earns it.

Stay tuned.

Image: NuNa

Dayne Beams does more damage to his personal brand.

As if drug and gambling addictions weren’t enough, former AFL player Dayne Beams will appear on a reality TV show in order to completely destroy his reputation. Beams follows the familiar path of brilliant professional footballer, to drug, gambling and tattoo addict, to contestant on a reality TV show, and nominee for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Beams will further destory his personal reputation when he appears on Celebrity Big Brother, just as fellow AFL player Heath Shaw appeared on SAS Australia with disgraced NRL star Sam Burgess. In promotions for the show, Beams reveals a drug and gambling addiction.

Beams recently conceded that addiction to gambling and painkillers forced him to retire from the AFL, despite having two seasons remaining on his contract with the Collingwood Magpies. His admission followed the well-worn path of professional footballer admitting to a drug and gambling addiction caused by mental health issues, and winning praise for his bravery by a compliant mainstream sporting media.

The only difference in the case of Beams is that his father passed away in 2018 and left the midfielder shattered and distraught, and questioning his desire to play professional football.

The best way for Beams and other footballers to overcome mental health issues and deal with severe grief is, apparently, to appear on a reality TV show alongside other C-grade celebrities.

Beams will do his very best to scheme, lie, cheat, deceive and backstab in an attempt to win Celebrity Big Brother, and should use the same tactics to earn induction into The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

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Tarrant the Pollie Puncher Nominated for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

Former AFL player Chris Tarrant has been nominated for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame for numerous offences, including an accusation of punching a politician.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015 and AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Tarrant allegedly punched ALP politician Damien Hale after the politician confronted Tarrant about his behaviour in a Darwin nightclub in 2007. Hale was unhappy that Tarrant had apparently bared his backside to a woman at the club and decided that it was his civic duty to reprimand the former Collingwood and Fremantle player, who expressed his democratic rights with his fist.

Tarrant was fined $5000 and handed a three-match suspension as a result of the incident, which was not his first. He was also fined $5000 by the Magpies in 2006 for breaking the players’ code of conduct after a fight at a nightclub in Port Melbourne.

Tarrant will be pleased to know that no politicians sit on the judging panel of The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

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Dan Andrews is no match for Dane Swan.

Former AFL player Dane Swan has attacked Dan Andrews with a reminder that the Victorian premier will never match his achievements in The Frownlow Medal. Swan made the comments via Twitter while slamming the latest COVID-19 lockdown in Melbourne.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Swan questioned the premier’s competence and claimed that the state government ‘continually f***… Victorians’. He admitted to knowing nothing about politics before criticising the decision to impose another lockdown. When fellow twitter uses responded to his comments, he said:

“…if you don’t understand how Twitter works this is my account and I shall and will say WHATEVER the f*** I like whenever and however I like. Just like y’all motherf***ers do on your accounts. It’s not rocket surgery.”

Swan himself has never performed rocket surgery, but he has figured prominently in The Frownlow Medal. Meanwhile, Andrews has never received a Frownlow nomination.

Swan has been nominated for both The Frownlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame, which in itself is a rare achievement. He received his nominations for sending naked selfies to an unknown woman only to have those selfies appear in a women’s magazine. He also broke a club imposed booze ban and got into a scuffle with a security guard in Federation Square. He admitted to illicit drug use during his career, but only once he was retired and was trying to promote a book. He was also caught drink driving, and his podcast was shut down in 2019 when he made a joke about sexual assault.

Swan clearly possesses the credentials, integrity, intelligence and poise to manage a state’s response to a global pandemic, and is right in claiming that the Victorian premier will never come close to his off-field achievements.

Image: NuNa

Dayne Beams receives a boost to his mental health.

Former AFL player Dayne Beams is feeling much better about himself since receiving a nomination for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame for a public spat with a venue manager while organising his wife’s birthday party.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Beams began arguing with a staff member of a venue in the Yarra Valley, Victoria, and the conflict spilled over into the venue’s website, his social media accounts and the mainstream media. The Collingwood premiership player complained that the stress of organising his wife’s 30th birthday, and the conflict with the staff member, had taken a toll on his mental health.

Beams claims he had difficulty with the staff member while trying to finalise the details of the party. The conflict prompted him to write a negative message on the venue’s website, and to threaten the venue with bad publicity across his popular social media accounts. The staff member then contact Melbourne radio station 3AW in response to the negative feedback, and claims Beams threatened to use his AFL status to harm the business.

Beams was quoted as posting:

“My mental health and confidence around organising this has taken a hit because of it and I think Shelley (staff member) should be ashamed. I will be recommending to everyone through my social media platforms and word of mouth to stay clear of Elina (sic) estate and Shelley. Really disappointing.”

One has to wonder how someone who suffers a mental health breakdown while trying to organise a birthday party ever managed to win an AFL premiership.

Fortunately for Beams, he has been invited to the awards ceremony for The Frownlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame later this year, where he doesn’t have to organise a thing. What’s more, he’ll be surrounded by other wayward footballers who can empathise with his struggles and give him a shoulder to cry on.

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Jordan, what have you done this time?

AFL season is underway, so Jordan De Goey has earned another nomination for The Frownlow Medal. De Goey and teammate Jeremy Howe were caught holding a mobile phone in their dressing room recently and earned Frownlow nominations and a massive fine for the Collingwood Magpies.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

De Goey is a serial nominee for Frownlow honours. He has already been nominated in 2021, and attracted the attention of judges in 2017, 2018 and 2020. No one knows why he failed in 2019. Howe, meanwhile, earns his first nomination for the most prestigious prize in Australian sport.

The Magpies players were caught using their mobile phones in the dressing room during a game against the West Coast Eagles, and Collingwood was fined a total of $20,000. Players are strictly prohibited from using any kind of communication device during a game. Both players had come off injured before the end of the game and accessed their phones, which were supposed to be in a locked case.

Despite the fact that both players know the rules, they decided to use their phones. Despite the fact that both players knew there were cameras in the dressing rooms, and despite the fact that both players are fully-grown adults with experience in the AFL, the club will pay the fine. Collingwood took responsibility for not securing the phones, and absolved the players of any blame.

De Goey, meanwhile, explained his reasons for using the phone.

“I had to call Frownlow judges,” he said.

“Me and Jez want that medal. We’re sick of seeing it go to NRL players, and we were stoked when an AFL player won it last year. We need to keep it in the family, so we took out our phones, in front of the cameras, then called the judges to remind them that we deserve a medal. I’ve been nominated five times in five years, so I deserve more than just another nomination. Come on, it’s about time I won.”

Will this year be Jordan’s year?

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Jordan de Goey nominated for The Frownlow Medal – again.

AFL player Jordan De Goey has collected his fourth nomination for The Frownlow Medal after facing court recently for driving offences.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Collingwood star was in familiar surroundings when he faced a judge, via video link, to answer charges related to a string of driving offences in 2019. De Goey is accused of driving while suspended and using a mobile phone while behind the wheel of a stationary but not parked vehicle in Melbourne.

This is now De Goey’s fourth nomination for Frownlow honours. He was nominated in 2017, 2018 and 2020, for offences such as blaming his dog for a hand injury which was actually sustained at a nightclub, and forcing his coach to repeat the lie to the media. He has also been charged with drink driving and has been hit with fines and suspensions. In addition, he is still the subject of an investigation into an alleged assault of a woman as far back as 2015.

De Goey just can’t keep himself away from trouble, and clearly can’t keep himself away from the after party for the Frownlow awards nigh to be held later this year.

Image: NuNa