Sam Fisher signs new contract.

Former AFL player Sam Fisher has been appointed to handle catering at The Frownlow Medal awards night later this year.

Fisher was awarded the contract, as well as a nomination for The Fronwlow Medal Hall of Fame, after being charged with allegedly trafficking large quantities of illicit drugs across state borders on a regular basis.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Media reported that Fisher was arrested after a police raid on a house in suburban Melbourne, where they found methylamphetamine, 1,4-Butanediol and a Mercedes Benz, all alleged to be the proceeds of crime. The former St Kilda player was then charged with traffic large commercial quantity. According to reports, the drugs were being transported from Melbourne to Perth concealed in white goods.

This is not the first time Fisher has been involved in controversy, although it is his first Frownlow nomination. In 2011, he was the victim of an unprovoked attack in a Melbourne nightclub which left him with stitches in his head.

Fisher is expected to avoid serious punishment for the alleged crime as he has been pictured numerous times with a dog on social media. As outlined in a previous article on this very website, players who are photographed with a dog are likely to be forgiven by the Australian public.

This should leave Fisher plenty of time to contact his associates and ensure that the awards night for The Fronwlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame is the greatest party of the year.

Image: NuNa

Bizarre new contract clause for professional footballers.

Professional footballers in Australia have been ordered to get a pet dog in order to protect their public image after an off-field scandal.

Footballers from the four major codes have had the clause included in their contracts in case they commit an incident which earns them a nomination for The Fronwlow Medal or The Fronwlow Medal Hall of Fame.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

“Australians will forgive anyone who owns a dog,” began a statement from the marketing firm contracted to oversee brand recovery across the four codes.

“Many professional footballers in Australia have a great need to repair their personal brand and this is why they will be required to buy a pet dog upon signing a contract to play first-grade in any of the four major codes.”

The branding experts explained that the pre-emptive clause assumes that every player will at some point commit a scandal that will bring themselves and their sport into disrepute.

“One needs only browse through http://www.instagram/thefrownlowmedal.com to see how many footballers commit scandals and to understand why this clause is necessary.”

The clause might surprise many Australians, until they consider the power of a photograph with a cute dog. It is seemingly impossible to advertise a product in Australia without including a dog, and the country’s most popular children’s TV series features a family of animated dogs. Australia also carries an unspoken belief that dog ownership improves people’s character and thus makes every footballer a great role model to young children.

Disgraced celebrities, sports stars and even politicians also understand the recuperative power of a photo with a pooch.

“Scott Morrison is a perfect example,” continued the PR experts, “throughout his less than stellar career as prime minister he has regularly been photographed with a pet dog, especially when his popularity falls. His opponent, Anthony Albanese, also made sure he included a dog in his photo ops during his recent isolation, proving that Aussies will forgive anyone who owns a dog.”

“If a dog can repair the brand of an Aussie politician, it will repair the brand of a footballer.”

A photo with a canine will apparently protect a footballer’s personal brand from alcohol and drug abuse, driving offences and social media gaffs, as well as racism, sexism and homophobia, and even from crimes such as assault, manslaughter, murder and sexual assault.

“It’s amazing how many Frownlow Medallists and hall of fame inductees could have been saved with nothing more than a photo with a dog.”

Image: NuNa

Quinten Lynch nominated for The Fronwlow Medal Hall of Fame.

Former AFL player Quinten Lynch has been nominated for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame after being charged with a driving offence.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Lynch was charged with drink-driving, reckless driving and leaving the scene of an accident after failing to stop for a random breath test in 2004.

The former Collingwood and West Coast player will discover later this year if he has done enough to be inducted into The Fronwlow Medal Hall of Fame, and will be sent an Uber in order to ensure that he arrives at the awards night on time.

Image: NuNa

Ben Cousins drags Polo and McGuane into the spotlight.

Ben Cousins is a legend of The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame and his reputation has drawn two former AFL players into contention for Australia’s most prestigious inter-code award. Dean Polo and Luke McGuane earned their nomination after they became involved in a drunken incident in which Cousins punched teammate Daniel Connors outside a Sydney hotel in 2010.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. Former NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015 and Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Polo and McGuane received a one-week suspension from Richmond for their part in the incident but of more importance is their nomination for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame, which could see their names listed alongside some of the true greats of Australian football.

For the full list of current nominees for The Frownlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame, go to www.instagram.com/thefrownlowmedal/

Image: NuNa

Nathan Daly to star in ‘Ex on the Beach: International’

Former NRL player Nathan Daly will star in the first series of Ex on the Beach: International after becoming the subject of a nasty online exchange between multiple women throughout the world.

Daly has already been nominated for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame after being arrested for public nuisance, but was nominated for the reality TV show after producers read the enormous thread of comments about him on a website called thedirty.com.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

The extensive thread is titled ‘Stay Away From Nathan Daly Sydney’ and it includes unproven accusations that Daly is a liar, a thief, a drug addict and a con artist, who used a fake name on twitter and has deceived many women in Australia and overseas. None of the accusations have ever been proven despite claims police had opened a case against Daly.

Women on the thread accuse Daly of befriending them and using his looks and charm to win their confidence, before convincing them to pay for things or stealing their money, jewellery and possessions. The former Bronco is also accused of getting a woman pregnant and refusing to care for the child, as well as running off with the woman’s money.

Comments claim he also created conflict with his own relatives over money, and that he stole from and cheated on a woman called Yvonne Coldeweijer in The Netherlands:

Google Nathan Daly and his ex Yvonne coldeweijer. He stole from her and cheated on her several times. If you translate the articles she had him removed from the country as she was his sponser,” reads the unproven comment on thedirty.com. Further comments claim Daly was eventually deported from The Netherlands, which is also unproven.

“These accusations make Nathan perfect for a role on reality TV,” state the producers of Ex on the Beach: International “…and demonstrate exactly why so many former footballers are appearing on reality TV shows all over Australia.”

“The online thread on thedirty.com is full of vitriolic and spiteful comments attacking and defending Nathan, and even if the comments are completely untrue it doesn’t matter, they will still hook viewers and drive up our ratings.”

Producers were also excited that the accusations continued.

Women claim Daly also boasted about a prestigious role on the Australian Olympic team and exaggerated his ability as a professional footballer. The latter is clearly the most believable claim on the entire thread, as his NRL career never reached any great heights. Women are also extremely shocked and disgusted that Daly took up a position with a charity working with vulnerable children.

At the same time, many women on the thread staunchly defend Daly and strongly refute the claims of other women, and portray him as attractive, charming, honest and decent.

It’s very obvious this is a small group of scorned, unstable women who have gotten together to try and brin him down,” read one of many similar comments.

“I mean the accusations aren’t even original, it’s prettu standard for immature people to come out with the he/she is a drd crack head anyway haha.”

“Oh my god girl, get over it. Each time you post is more desperate and pathetic then the last haha. Seriously!! You got rejected by a guy, get a grip and a life. Your just a stalker. We who are all his real friends know the truth. As I said before, a bunch of scorned, crazed, obsessed and classless lunatics that can’t accept that HE DONT WANT YOU HAHA”

“Some of the comments are priceless,” explained EOTBI producers. “Even our writers couldn’t script this stuff, like this one:”

“You’re so upset I called you and the rest classless yet you went on a bogan rampage name calling and carrying on like a wild animal. Stop with the lies. If he stole from you and all these other women then the man would be in jail you stupid stupid woman. And all the crying and carrying on that he is putting women at risk by having drds and spreading them, guess what? Stop being a dirty hoe, know who your sleeping with and for the love of god take some responsibility and wear a condom. This is laughable, Nathan and my self have both laughed, you are all spiraling out of control and the stories get crazier. Death threats, unborn babies, thousands stolen , drugs, lol. He seems to be doing pretty well considering he isn’t in jail for all these alleged falsified claims. Go back to stalking another sports star that use groupies for sex. It’s clearly all any of you had been worth.”

“You could just imagine jealous contestants saying this stuff to each other behind the scenes on reality TV couldn’t you,” continued the producers.

EOTBI creators were also intrigued by a post that appears to be written by a lawyer or someone official. Someone calling themselves The Investigator wrote in 2018;

“Due to the nature of the defamatory post, We suggest this is removed in a timely manner. Your digital fingerprint and IP address is now known. After several failed attempts to contact you we will proceed with informing the board of registration of dentistry VIC of the current situation. ie- Harrassment, Stalking, Defamation.”

“If he can incite that much hatred, conflict, emotion, swearing, devotion and spite online, imagine what he can create on screen,” said producers.

The person who posted the original comments which prompted the thread on thedirty.com, at one point asks for the comments to be removed, stating:

EMAILED: Nik, as you can see from my email I am the person who wrote the comments under – Leopards don’t change their spots.

Can you please delete my comments as I now am fearing for my safety and I need these removed. Please can you do this for me?

No.- nik

It is believed network executives are considering turning the reality TV show into a soap opera, such is the drama, vitriol, emotion and controversy surrounding this one man. It might even be called ‘ The Dirty’ in honour of the website which launched Daly’s reality TV career.

Image: NuNa

  • NOT A ONE NIGHT STANDOctober 23, 2018 at 5:34 AMill happily send you the pregnancy report abuse messages about the money he stolen from me
    twice over the course of being with him on and off for two years money from nathan himself if you like oh actually and his sister as well !!! ? don’t sit there and take away that I nearly lost my life carrying this man child and he ignored it did nothing and ran off with thousands and thousands of dollars of my money when he sick dad was dying and he knew my dad was sick and dying as well , why does his own friends Reni and will talk about him behind his back I have messages of that too if you want more proof , it wasn’t a one night stand and if nathan was getting a restraining order why hasn’t he been granted one in over a year this has been made , and you think you’re any better bashing us when I went through living hell and never even received an apology from this man ? , he was contacted numerous times from the police for the money he stole , oh not evidence enough , over 100 comments from people and we are pulling it out of our ass so he a good man for sleeping with over a hundred people and putting them in danger carrying diseases getting women knocked up and laughing in their face telling them to die WHICH I HAVE PROOF OF aS WELL ? he a good man for ignoring someone who he cries to and claimed to love WHICH I HAVE VIDEO PROOF OF also !! send me your number i’ll happy send you all the evidence and show what a dumb ass weak wanker you’re for standing up for someone who is truly evil , rasinging money for a charity and keeping the money !!! go on get the restraining order oh that’s right he can’t get one cause he a narcissistic low life who needs serious help .

BondiBeachAugust 19, 2018 at 11:27 PM

Take all your information to bondi beach police station. They currently have a case building on him.

The InvestigatorFebruary 27, 2018 at 5:45 AM

Ms Natalie Cowan,
2 Trevascus St
Caulfield South
VIC 3162.

Due to the nature of the defamatory post, We suggest this is removed in a timely manner. Your digital fingerprint and IP address is now known. After several failed attempts to contact you we will proceed with informing the board of registration of dentistry VIC of the current situation. ie- Harrassment, Stalking, Defamation.

The mystery surrounding Tui Kamikamica.

NRL player Tui Kamikamica is the most mysterious nominee for The Fronwlow Medal this year after being cleared and punished for the same incident.

Kamikamica was charged with assault occasioning bodily harm after an altercation with a female in Fortitude Valley in November 2021, and was cleared by the courts. However, the NRL issued him with a breach notice, a fine and a suspension.

The Storm player is thus eligible and ineligible for The Frownlow Medal for exactly the same incident.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

The legal system dismissed the charges in April 2022, but the NRL conducted its own investigation and alleged Kamikamica had brought the game into disrepute. He was fined $10,000 ($5,000 suspended) and stood down for 10 games. He was also required to complete “mandatory personal development and tailored rehabilitation programs with NRL Wellbeing & Education”.

The NRL based its decision on CCTV footage of the incident which allegedly shows Kamikamica in a physical altercation with a female.

So, will Kamikamica be in the running for the prestigious award when it is decided at the end of 2022?

The mystery surrounding the rampaging forward also poses another hugely important question: is he eligible for The Fronwlow Medal Wife Beater Tattoo and The Fronwlow Medal Wife Beaters Club?

Image: Melbourne Storm

Jackson Nelson and Josh Rotham are true clubmen.

Jackson Nelson and Josh Rotham are devoted clubmen. They’re just devoted to the wrong club. The West Coast players partied at a Perth nightclub recently while their AFL club struggled to field a team amid a COVID and injury crisis, and they have earned themselves a nomination for The Frownlow Medal.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

Nelson and Rotham were clearly confused when they were told to devote themselves to the club. They received the same message that every AFL player receives upon signing a contract, which is to give their heart and soul to the club, to put the club before everything, to sweat for the club and even die for the club – because that’s what it takes to win a premiership. The only problem is that they put in the hard yards at a Leedverville nightclub after being told to stay away from public places due to COVID restrictions imposed on the club.

Many West Coast players and staff had been affected by COVID, and the club advised players to avoid public gatherings to reduce the risk of contagion. This was especially important since the Eagles had already lost many first-choice players to COVID and injuries. So few players were available that the club had to ask the AFL for an extension just to name a run-on side against the Brisbane Lions. Despite this, Nelson and Rothman went partying at a nightclub.

According to media reports, the Eagles have used an AFL-high 42 players this year, the most through seven rounds of a VFL-AFL season since St Kilda in 1910.

Nelson and Rothman will learn their fate soon, but have been assured that the awards night for The Frownlow Medal, to which they have been invited, is one giant nightclub at which anything goes.

Image: NuNa

Jamal Idris and Le Te Maari take on a legend.

Former NRL players Jamal Idris and Lee Te Maari believe you have to beat a legend to be a legend, so they took on Frownlow medallist Ben Barba in a fist fight to earn a nomination for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Idris, Te Maari and Barba were all playing for the Canterbury Bulldogs in 2009 and had been socialising at a teammate’s house all afternoon. They were driving home together and decided to stop off at the Wentworthville Hotel in Sydney’s west to buy some drinks. They then realised that drinking drinks is better than just buying drinks, and stepped inside for a few coldies. When they stepped outside, Barba slammed Te Maari up against a wall and Idris stepped in.

This is where it gets interesting.

Barba is short, and fast, like most top fullbacks. Te Maari was a backrower and Idris was one of the biggest players in the game at the time. But still Barba took them on, because that’s the definition of Dutch Courage and that’s the kind of decision making that wins a player The Frownlow Medal.

The scuffle escalated and Idris ended up punching Barba in the face, leaving the young star with a bloody nose. As with any true footballing bromance, the players soon kissed and made up, and it was later revealed that Barba had been niggling and annoying Idris and Te Maari all afternoon.

Young guns Idris and Barba were dropped for one game. In a bizarre addition to his post-NRL story, Idris was the victim of an attempted kidnap while on holiday in Vietnam. Perhaps the kidnappers had been drinking what Barba was drinking.

Meanwhile, the more experienced Te Maari was suspended for two games as a result of the Wentworthville incident, which was not his first. He got into a fight outside a nightclub in Wollongong in 2008, and in 2010 was charged with numerous driving offences, including driving without a license. The backrower didn’t tell the club about his offence until it appeared in court, and the Bulldogs eventually tore up his contract.

Ironically, Barba and Idris were scheduled to attend an Arrive Alive promotion just days after the fight, where they would function as role models for junior rugby league players in western Sydney.

Referring to the incident and to the respective punishments, a Bulldogs official said at the time:

“Ben and Jamal are young players with big careers ahead of them and I hope this punishment will serve as a warning to them on what they stand to lose if they continue down the wrong path.
Lee is acutely aware of his responsibilities and I don’t expect to see him in front of the disciplinary committee again.”

Barba did continue down the wrong path, and despite winning the Dally M medal and a premiership, what lay head for him was a Frownlow medal and a nomination for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

Te Maari also faced the disciplinary committee again.

Barba is expected to take on Idris and Te Maari again in a lopsided tag-team fight at the awards night for The Frownlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame later this year.

Image: NuNa

Brett Kenny to headline FMF 1.

Rugby League legend Brett Kenny has been granted permission to use his signature headbutt move when he headlines Frownlow Medal Fights 1 against an unspecified opponent.

Kenny will be able to fight any past or present player from Rugby League, Rugby Union, Football or Aussie Rules, provided they have also been nominated for The Frownlow Medal or The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Kenny’s opponent has not been decided but the favourites include footy players turned boxers such as Paul Gallen, Sonny Bill Williams, Justin Hodges and Barry Hall, and possibly renowned pugilist Anthony Mundine.

The former Parramatta, NSW and Australian legend earned the right to headline FMF 1 after being charged with assault. Kenny was arrested for allegedly headbutting a man at the Police and Community Youth Club in Bateau Bay on the NSW Central Coast on April 12. The arrest earned him his Frownlow nomination and the right to fight in the main event at FMF 1.

Kenny is currently deciding which player to face in the ring, but the list of contenders is long. He could also face any member of The Frownlow Medal Wife Beaters Club, but it is believed they don’t want to be in a fair fight, while many punters are demanding he fight Beau Ryan.

Ryan is a Frownlow nominee who has never fought in a real boxing match, but a huge number of fans would apparently love to see him step in the ring.

Kenny has also been given permission to choose the venue for FMF 1, and possible sites include Bateau Bay PCYC or venues which have produced many Frownlow nominations, or nominees, including The Star Sydney, Northies at Cronulla or Hillsong Church.

Image: http://www.nrl.com

Michael Gardiner emerges from the underworld.

Former AFL player Michael Gardiner has surfaced from the underworld in order to accept his nomination for The Fronwlow Medal Hall of Fame. Gardiner has been nominated for numerous incidents, including involvement with a group of alleged underworld figures from Perth.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Gardiner was criticised in 2005 for an association with a group of alleged underworld figures in Perth, alongside the human disaster and fellow West Coast player Cousins. The teammates allegedly received phone calls from gangland figures before and after a stabbing at a Perth nightclub, and refused to cooperate with police during the investigation.

The Eagles told Gardiner and Cousins they were on their last warning, but as The Fronwlow Medal has proven, a last warning in professional football is rarely a last warning. The pair were warned that their off-field behaviour would not be tolerated, but Gardiner stayed at the Eagles in 2006, when he was dropped to club football for his involvement in a booze bus incident alongside…Cousins.

Not sacked, just dropped.

Later in 2006, Gardiner had his contract suspended indefinitely, but not terminated, after a drunken traffic accident which earned him only a $5000 fine and a warning from club bosses that they were highly unlikely to renew his contract at the end of the year.

Gardiner was also praised as a mentor to Dustin Martin, who has received numerous Fronwlow nominations, one of which involved trying to stab a woman in the eye with chopsticks. Martin once called Gardiner a ‘Great Man’.

After accepting the nomination, Gardiner returned to the underworld alongside Cousins.

Image: NuNa