New threat forces changes to NRL Dally M awards.

A looming threat forced the NRL to make unpopular changes to the Dally M awards night in 2021 – and it wasn’t the AFL. The NRL altered the traditional format of its awards presentation in response to the growing popularity of The Frownlow Medal celebration.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Rugby League fans slammed the new format which saw the awards stretched over two separate nights a week apart. The first instalment returned poor television ratings and attracted widespread criticism across social media. Experts suspected the downfall could be blamed on the timing of the AFL Brownlow Medal ceremony, but realised that it was the Frownlow award which was stealing the thunder.

“Every player wants to go to the awards night for The Frownlow Medal,” revealed NRL boss Andrew Abdo.

“It is a huge night of massive partying with no rules or restrictions with players from across NRL, AFL, Super Rugby and the A-League. Players get unlimited drugs, booze, women, music, sports gambling and no pesky journalists. No player can resist this, and it’s no wonder that party is more popular than the Dally Ms.”

Players have been displaying less interest in the Dally M night since the Frownlow Medal was introduced in 2015. In response, the NRL decided to experiment with a new format in order to win back players and fans.

“The Dally M used to be the most prestigious award in the NRL, but now it’s the Frownlow,” conceded Abdo.

“Just look at the number of NRL players who get nominated every year, and the fact that every medallist, except for 2020, has been an NRL player.”

The awards night for The Fronwlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame will be held later this year. The potential venues include Northies, Jarryd Hayne’s Hillsong Church, Paul Vaughan’s house or the restaurant in which Adam Elliott and Millie Boyle enjoyed their toilet tryst.

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Can Jarryd Hayne return to glory?

Former NRL player and current prisoner Jarryd Hayne could claim the greatest prize in Australian sport this year. Hayne is the favourite to win The Frownlow Medal, ahead of 61 professional footballers who have earned nominations for all manner of off-field scandals.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

Hayne is possibly the most talented player to have never won a grand final. He came close with Parramatta one year, and almost single-handedly won a State of Origin series for NSW on one occasion. He now languishes in prison after being found guilty of sexual assault.

Can anyone beat Hayne?

Former NRL player Mananse Fainu poses a strong threat. He is still awaiting the outcome of his legal proceedings after he was accused of stabbing someone outside a Mormon church dance back in 2019. Another Dragons player, Tristan Sailor, was also accused of rape but has not been found guilty as COVID-19 slows down court proceedings in Australia.

Other challengers

Hayne saw off the challenge of another accused rapist, fellow NRL player Jack de Belin. The Dragons and NSW player was found not guilty of sexual assault after a long court case, but is still in contention after attending Paul Vaughan‘s infamous BBQ. This unsanctioned house party led to nominations for another 11 Dragons players, and created the Matt Dufty Fun Run around the streets of Shellharbour.

Corey Norman won the medal in 2016 and was also at the BBQ. He thought he could outsmart the cops by fleeing on foot, but he left behind his phone and car – with personalised number plates. It was his second nomination of 2021, after getting into a brawl outside Northies.

Gender equity

2021 marked a milestone for The Frownlow Medal. Nita Maynard became the first woman to be nominated after getting drunk and taking on a bouncer at Northies. Fellow NRLW player Millie Boyle followed her lead and earned a nomination after being caught in a toilet tryst with misguided NRL player Adam Elliott.

The Breachers

Breaching COVID-19 protocols earned nominations for many footballers this year, even though that particular scandal failed to win the Frownlow for any nominees in 2020. Footballers never learn. Many players breached some form of protocols, including perennial nominees James Roberts, and fellow NRL player Josh Dugan, who was caught by police more than 3 hours from home, twice, on the same day.

Jai Arrow and Api Koroisau were both punished for smuggling women into their restricted hotels rooms during the State of Origin series. Koroisau is married, and Arrow is sponsored by a food delivery company which guarantees fast and efficient delivery.

NRL dominance

NRL players look determined to win back what they believe is their birthright, after Taylor claimed it for the AFL in 2020. They comprise 47 of the 61 nominees. They also supplied two of the most bizarre nominations. Victor Radley was punished by the NRL for tackling someone, while Lachlan Lewis was caught trying to sell a speaker on EBay, after stealing it from a room in the Bulldogs’ hub.

AFL defence

The AFL defence looks flimsy. Jordan De Goey earned three nominations in one year, for essentially being Jordan De Goey, while Taylor Walker made a racist comment and a pathetic attempt to apologise for his racist outburst. Nine more AFL players were nominated for relatively minor offences, and so far they look unlikely to reclaim the medal.

Super Rugby

Super Rugby has offered four candidates. Suliasi Vunivalu earned his nomination before even playing a game in his new code, while three Rebels Marika Koroibete, Isi Naisarani and Pone Fa’amausili had a few quiet drinks in their team hotel and broke curfew while playing for the Wallabies. Apparently Rebels are not allowed to rebel.

A- League Absence

The A-League has never won The Fronwlow Medal and has failed to supply any candidates in 2021. Why?

Hayne might be accepting The Frownlow Medal from his prison cell later this year, but it is only September, and four months is a very long time in football.

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Is it too hot to get drunk?

Is the Aussie summer the wrong time to have a beer? Is it just too hot for a coldie or too hot to kick back with a beverage or two – and get up to mischief?

It must be, because players from the A-League football competition rarely get involved in scandals that could earn them a nomination for The Frownlow Medal, and their competition is the only code which takes place in the summer months Down Under. In contrast, players from the winter codes commit endless off-field atrocities and dominate the award. At the same time, alcohol causes most of the scandals which sustain The Frownlow Medal.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Why don’t A-League players earn many Frownlow nominations?

Are football/soccer players already too dehydrated? Are they completely sapped of fluids after 90 minutes of elite football in the Aussie summer sun? Are their tanks so empty that they simply can’t fathom the notion of getting drunk after a game and further dehydrating themselves?

They must be.

Otherwise, how else does one explain the fact that so few football/soccer players from Australia’s national league recieve nominations for The Frownlow Medal, or even The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame?

The A-League has supplied only 5 nominees for the medal, and only 2 for the hall of fame. Ahmad Elrich is the only hall of fame inductee. This from a total of about 400 combined nominees since the award’s inception in 2015. No A-League player has ever won the medal, while every other code has claimed the prestigious award. Five medallists have played NRL, including 2018 winner Karmichael Hunt. One has played Super Rugby (Hunt) and two have played AFL (Taylor and Hunt). A-League players have not even come close to winning.

If the A-League switched to winter, would more players receive nominations?

It must be the heat.

Or is it?

Scandals occur in summer. Countless players have been busted for bar brawls, public urination, bestiality, public defecation, drink-driving, public nudity, sexual harassment, assault, drug use, social media faux pas and countless other incidents after consuming too much alcohol – during summer. In fact, Christmas, New Year’s and Australia Day are popular times for nominations – almost as popular as Mad Monday.

What about the women?

Female footballers also disprove the aforementioned theory. The women’s AFL, Super Rugby and NRL competitions all take place in winter, and all female first-grade players from the four codes are eligible for Australia’s most prestigious award.. But not one has ever been nominated.

Thus, the question remains,

Why do so few A-League players earn nominations for The Frownlow Medal?

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Legalade, the perfect drink for the wayward footballer.

Legalade is a sports drink with a difference. The latest addition to the highly-competitive sports drink market improves a players off-field performance and is set to take the sports world by storm.

While existing sports drinks such as Powerade, Lucozade, Gatorade and Staminade claim to improve a player’s on-field performance, none of them provide off-field support like Legalade. As such, players have begun ordering the drink by the case in the hope that it will increase their chances of winning The Frownlow Medal or entering The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Along with the usual electrolytes, glucose and potassium found in conventional sports drinks, Legalade contains traces of illicit drugs and a 15% alcohol content to get the party started. It is premixed with energy drinks for automatic preloading and is engineered to pass through police detection systems at music festivals and nightspots. Furthermore, every bottle carries contact details of lawyers and a list of image consultants trained to repair a footballer’s personal brand after a public scandal.

Legalade is the perfect drink for footballers who need to urinate into their own mouths or onto a police car, or who yearn to slap a taxi driver, simulate sex with a dog or send unwanted nude pics to innocent women. It inspires racist, sexist and homophobic social media rants and is the perfect preparation for players on their way to face their code’s integrity unit. One sip and all your problems will disappear.

Legalade is not to be confused with Legal Aid. Legal Aid is an organisation in NSW providing legal services to socially and economically disadvantaged people throughout the state. Legalade, meanwhile, is a revolutionary new sports drink.

Legalade marks a watershed for professional footballers striving to win the ultimate prize in Australian sport, and is available for purchase at bottle shops throughout the country.

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Frank Farina’s foolish Frownlow folly.

Former Socceroo Frank Farina committed one off-field incident during his football career, but it was enough to earn him a nomination for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame. The coach and player of the national team was arrested for drink driving in 2009.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015 and AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

The drink driving charge saw Farina sacked as coach of the Brisbane Roar.

Farina must now wait until the end of the year to find out if he has done enough to earn himself a position in The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame, alongside players who have committed all manner of off-field indiscretions – all which are listed at www.instagram.com/thefrownlowmedal/

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Football codes purchase sex dolls for players.

No one has ever been arrested for raping a sex doll, so major football codes in Australia have purchased a large quantity of the dolls to keep their players out of off-field scandals.

The directors of the various governing bodies will provide the dolls for post-game celebrations in order to prevent any more of their players from being charged with sexual harassment, indecent behaviour and sexual assault, offences which have seen many players nominated for The Frownlow Medal.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

“Many footballers struggle in their interactions with women,” stated a spokesperson for the major football codes.

“Despite being fully-grown adults who have sat through countless educational sessions on the appropriate way to interact with women in many different contexts, they consistently involve themselves in incidents which see women mistreated, sometimes severely. Of course, the women often complain and this creates negative publicity for the code and problems for the welfare of the player.”

“Sex dolls are the perfect solution for a number of reasons,” the spokesperson elaborated.

“They don’t get pregnant, so you don’t have to hire someone to threaten or bribe them if you don’t want to raise your unborn child, or force the women to have an abortion.”

“You also don’t have to pay child support.”

“You don’t have to ply them with alcohol or drugs to get them to do what you want, and you can film yourself and release the video on social media because they won’t complain. We will also supply enough dolls to allow players to conduct group bonding sessions with their teammates.”

“Also, you don’t have to worry about them being underage or still at school”

“Most importantly, sex dolls will never speak up or take you to court. In this way, we can continue to promote footballers as great role models to children.”

The move was inspired by FC Seoul, a football club in South Korea, which attracted international attention for dressing up sex dolls as fans and placing them in an empty stadium during the coronavirus restrictions. Football organisations in Australia have for years been searching for ways to fill their stadiums, and leapt at the chance to kill two birds with one stone.

Reports also indicate that the sex dolls in Seoul were holding up signs advertising x-rated websites, but this is not a practice the Australian governing bodies would permit.

“Never, that is completely unacceptable,” stated the spokesperson.

“Pornography can become an addiction which can cause people to lose their money and their jobs, as well as their friends. It can leave children with no food to eat and can tear families apart. In Australia, the dolls would instead be advertising sports gambling companies.”

Incidents of violence against women involving players have become a common problem for Australia’s major football codes, and have seen many players nominated for The Frownlow Medal. Two NRL players who have played at the highest level of the game are still awaiting trial for alleged sexual assault, and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame is full of players who have earned induction for mistreating women.

Now that players will be supplied with sex dolls, governing bodies expect no more uncomfortable headlines or lengthy court cases.

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White powder earns Mitch Nichols a nomination for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

Former Socceroo Mitch Nichols has been nominated for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame after being arrested for possession of cocaine.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. Former NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015 and former NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Nichols was arrested at a nightclub in Sydney in 2017 and received a four-match ban from Football Federation Australia.

Nichols will find out later this year if he has done enough to be inducted into The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame. To learn more about his competition for Australia’s most prestigious inter-code award, go to www.instagram.com/thefrownlowmedal/

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NRL steals lockdown idea from The Frownlow Medal.

The NRL plan to restart its competition with its players and staff in an isolated scenario is being hailed as a world first, but the proposal to gather footballers in one place was first suggested late last year by The Frownlow Medal.

League bosses are hoping to resume playing in late May with all players and staff living, training and playing in a fully self-contained location, with no crowds. This idea was first floated by The Frownlow Medal as a remedy for the damaging publicity suffered when players created scandals on Mad Monday.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Under the Frownlow proposal, Mad Monday celebrations for the four major codes would be held in one giant warehouse in an undisclosed location away from the public eye and, more importantly, away from the scrutiny of the media.

The Frownlow Mad Monday celebration would also offer footballers the following benefits:

  • Unlimited alcohol. Supplied by the companies which sponsor teams and representative fixtures. No RSA, No lockout laws.
  • Unlimited access to sports gambling. Their own competition is over, so they’re free to bet on other sports. Players granted free accounts and credit by the same companies which sponsor their stadiums and flood TV screens with advertisements during games.
  • Ladies, ladies, ladies. Free strippers to entertain the players. Free ‘ladies of the night’ and a bevy of groupies or women with terribly low self esteem who seek legitimacy on the arms of a footballer. Certain players will have access to schoolgirls, provided they are above the age of consent. Remember, it’s not cheating on Mad Monday.
  • Dark corners. For enjoying the company of aforementioned women in privacy.
  • Bright corners. For enjoying the company of aforementioned women in the company of teammates.
  • Nudie runs, for any player who did not score during the season.
  • Nudie runs, for any player who did score during the regular season.
  • Porn. Endless streaming of a large variety of porn on TV screens bigger than the scoreboard at the old SFS.
  • Lawyers. Just in case.
  • Ben Cousins.
  • Burn phones. Untraceable phones with unlimited data. Sexting, yes, online gambling, yes, naked photos, yes, sex tapes, yes. Every abuse of an electronic device possible.
  • Drugs. Snort it, smoke it, sniff it, inject it, pop it – is there any other way to enjoy drugs? If not, invent it, it’s Mad Monday.
  • Tattoo parlour. Because every footballer needs more tattoos.
  • Wife beating.
  • Ben Cousins
  • Golden showers.
  • Slap the taxi.
  • Bare knuckle boxing, known in the real world as assault.
  • Flashing
  • Wife swapping
  • Poo in a shoe
  • Open mic comp. Featuring racism, sexism, homophobia, misogyny and every other form of offensive language Sam Newman regards as comedy.
  • Ben Cousins.
  • Drunken Go Kart races.
  • Video Games.
  • Bestiality.
  • Live cross to past footballers who are now in prison.
  • Guns
  • Knives
  • Drive by shootings.
  • All this and more in one mighty bonding session

One mighty hangover.

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Ben Barba wins The Frownlow Medal for 2019.

Former NRL player Ben Barba has won The Frownlow Medal for 2019 after being kicked out of the NRL for the second time in his career.

The 2012 Dally M Medallist lost his contract earlier this year after being charged with public nuisance, and was first banished from the NRL for the use of cocaine.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015.

Barba was caught on security cameras during the pre-season in a heated argument with his partner, and the mother of his children, at a venue in Townsville. The North Queensland Cowboys tore up his contract and he was banned indefinitely from the game in Australia. The flying fullback earned his first Frownlow nomination in 2016 when he was caught with cocaine just moments after his heroic role in Cronulla’s first ever premiership win.

Barba beat the strongest field ever in Frownlow history, including fellow Cowboy Scott Bolton. Bolton pleaded guilty to common assault of a woman and served a lengthy suspension from the NRL. This was one of many incidents of violence against women in 2019.

Zane Musgrove was kicked out of the NRL for the second charge of violence against women during his career, while rookie Liam Coleman was charged for the same reason.

Dylan Walker was a strong contender before his partner dropped charges of domestic violence against him, and he was found not guilty, while Jarryd Hayne and Jack De Belin are still involved in legal cases for alleged sexual assault.

Rugby League players clearly dominated the awards yet again this year. In fact, Barba’s victory means that every medallist has played in the NRL, including code-swapper Karmichael Hunt.

Manase Fainu earned his nomination after being charged with stabbing a man outside a church dance. Many parents are now wondering whether it is safer to let their children play Rugby League than go to a church dance. Fainu will also have to wait until 2020 to learn his fate before the justice system.

Australia’s most famous homophobe, former Rugby Union player Israel Folau, created the most controversy this year with his divisive social media posts, but his actions were simply not enough in comparison to accusations of violence against women.

Jaidyn Stephenson flew the flag for the AFL. He had himself banned for 10 games for illegal gambling, but the challenge from Aussie Rules was fairly weak this year.

The A-League is a perennial poor performer in The Frownlow Medal, but bolstered its representation when four young players were simultaneously investigated for…you guessed it…group sex. After all, footballers can hardly be expected to enjoy the company of a woman all by themselves.

A number of Rugby League players were nominated for sex tapes, adding some spice to the competition yet again.

Even the Australian Rugby League captain earned a nomination. Greg Inglis was caught drink driving and was fined and stripped of the honour of captaining his country. He then retired from the sport after an injury-plagued career.

Barba and his fellow nominees will be resting sore heads in 2020, after the famous Frownlow awards night. Meanwhile, we anticipate another year of off-field drama in 2020.

Happy New Year Ben.

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Riley McGree leads fellow Olyroos into the race for The Frownlow Medal.

Olyroos captain Riley McGree and three other national football representatives have earned a nomination for The Frownlow Medal after being suspended from international matches following an incident in Cambodia.

McGree joins Nathaniel Atkinson, Lachlan Wales and Brandon Wilson in earning a nomination for the prestigious award, and have virtually doubled the number of A-League players to have been nominated for the award since its inception in 2015.

McGree, Atkinson, Wales and Wilson were in Cambodia representing the Olyroos in the AFC U23 championship qualifying tournament. During a night out, they broke curfew and it has been reported that a woman was invited back to the hotel where all four players had consensual sex with her. Apparently the woman complained about what happened on the night.

This kind of ‘unprofessional conduct’ has earned many players Frownlow nominations in the past, and would place the quartet in a good position to take out the prize. However, it is believed the woman withdrew her complaint, and this will severely hamper the footballers’ chances of winning.

Despite the withdrawal, the FFA continued to investigate and handed down the international bans, which will see McGree miss international games until April 1 2020, and the other three until August 10, so they will miss Tokyo 2020 if Australia qualifies.

The nominations come just moments before the winner of The Frownlow Medal is announced for 2019, and are the only real challenge mounted by a ‘Soccer’ player in the history of the award. That said, have they done enough to break the NRL stranglehold on the most prestigious award in Australian sport?

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