Scott Morrison hires George Burgess.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has hired George Burgess to appear in a new educational video about consent. Morrison instructed his marketing team to contact Burgess after the NRL player was charged with sexually touching a person without consent.

Burgess will front the new video, which replaces the controversial ‘milkshake’ video made in 2021 to teach teenagers about consent. The acting role has also earned the Dragons player a nomination for The Frownlow Medal.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

“The timing is perfect,” declared Morrison.

“It’s just been announced that all Aussie school kids will receive consent education in the coming years, and then a role model like George shows them all exactly what it means to allegedly touch a woman without consent.”

“As soon as I heard this I told my marketing team to get onto his agent and get him into the new video. We need a new one after the milkshake video, which, I might add, was nothing to do with me. But I’m sure George will be the perfect person to star in the new video that I’m making, and this shows how seriously I take women’s issues.”

Police allege the incident occurred early in March, and the front rower was arrested in Sydney some weeks later. He was given bail to appear in court in April.

This is the second Fronwlow nomination for Burgess. He was first nominated for Fronwlow honours in 2021 after he was involved in a road rage incident that year, and also for throwing a street sign through a car window and appearing naked on a gay porn website in 2013.

He is now one of a handful of footballers, including his brother Sam, to have been nominated for The Frownlow Medal and The Fronwlow Medal Hall of Fame. Meanwhile, brothers Tom and Luke have also received Frownlow nominations.

Image: Getty Images

Tyrone May keeps sex tape at hand.

NRL player Tyrone May always has his leaked sex tape close at hand in case he needs some light relief or another nomination for The Frownlow Medal.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

May had plenty of time to watch the video in 2019, when the NRL stood him down for the entire season, and he is known to use it to psyche himself up for big games or to relax after a gruelling training session.

In 2018, May was punished for filming and distributing a sex tape without consent. This is the same tape he referred to on social media while celebrating the Panthers grand final win.

The instagram post quotes lyrics from a song by rapper Drake:

“And the dirt that they threw on my name/turned to soil and I grew up out it/time for y’all to figure out what y’all gon’ do about it,”

He accompanied the lyrics with a picture of himself arriving at Parramatta Local Court for his trial. The same trial in which he pleaded guilty to committing the crime, for which he missed the 2019 season in accordance with the NRL’s no-fault stand down policy. He was also given a three-year good behaviour bond and ordered to perform 300 hours of community service.

On the most recent post, Panthers teammate Stephen Crichton wrote,

“They hate but then they all copy.”

It’s not clear who they are or what they copy, but May’s post also drew support from Spencer Leniu, Nathan Cleary, James Fisher-Harris, Viliame Kikau, Brian To’o, Moses Leota and Apisai Koroisau.

Most of these players comprise May’s post-game prayer group and are devout Christians.

Image: NuNa

Jonathan Patton and the iConsent App.

EXCLUSIVE: Jonathan Patton has been revealed as the creator of the much-maligned iConsent App which was designed to tackle sexual crimes against women. The recently retired AFL player admitted to creating the App as part of his new career as a social media consultant.

Patton confessed to creating the App while announcing the launch of his new company Pervy Patterns.

“I thought of the iConsent App”, stated Patton.

“Everyone thinks it was Mick Fuller (NSW Police Commissioner) but he only took the credit because we thought it would be more popular if it was announced by a senior law officer, not another scandal-prone footballer. It was my idea, based on my intimate knowledge of the power of social media in maintaining consensual relationships.”

Patton revealed the App was one component of a broader socila media consultancy package which he can deliver to clients, and which he was developing during the final days of his football career. Pervy Patterns will work with social media models and influencers to strengthen their brand and their earning potential, with a particular focus on tasteful risque imagery.

“Pervy Patterns will also carry a lot of messages and practical tips for men about consensual interactions with women via social media and communications devices, as this is a subject I have learned a lot about recently.”

Patton is accused of sending multiple revealing images of himself to several women via social media even after the women asked him to stop. After the scandal broke, he checked himself into a medical facility claiming he was suffering from mental health issues.

He was stood down by the Hawthorn Hawks while an investigation is carried out into the incident, which includes allegations that he called a woman on FaceTime and appeared fully naked when she answered, and that the calling and messaging continued for a total of three years.

“I know how to attract attention, I know how to increase awareness of a personal brand, and I know that sex sells!”

“I will employ this special knowledge and proven experience to assist clients to increase awareness and exposure of their personal brand, and to subsequently increase their earnings. My business is a niche company specialising in the utilisation of risque, but tasteful, images across diverse social media platforms.” 

“Clients will enjoy tailored and trusted advice in the art of taking and filtering revealing images, disseminating those images with a wide reach, even to reluctant recipients, as well as in monetising publicity generated from exposing their flesh.”

Patton begins his new role immediately, and has offered discounted rates to professional footballers aiming to win The Frownlow Medal.

Image: NuNa