Are Richmond players obsessed with other people’s private parts?

Sydney Stack and Callum Coleman-Jones confirmed suspicions that Richmond Tigers players have an unhealthy obsession with other people’s private parts when they were arrested outside a strip club.

Stack and Coleman-Jones have been nominated for The Frownlow Medal after being arrested for allegedly fighting outside Hollywood Showgirls strip club on the Gold Coast, just days after some of their teammates were caught touching each other’s nether regions during a post-match celebration.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

The Tigers were reportedly kicked out of the club and are alleged to have become involved in a wild street brawl at 3.30am, right across the road from a police station. Reports also indicate that both players suffered facial injuries.

The duo are likely to face tough criticism from the Australian public and even their own fans, as residents of Tigerland are living through the strictest COVID-19 lockdown restrictions in the country. The visit to the club is a breach of the AFL bio-security protocols.

In their defence, the players claimed they were on official AFL business when the incident occured.

“We were researching performers for the Grand Final,” said Coleman-Jones.

“Yeah,” confirmed Stack “the AFL bosses told us to go and find some talent for the half-time show, and because the grand final is going to be in Brisbane this year, we thought we should look local. Stripping is great family-friendly entertainment and they’re from Hollywood so they should be great at entertaining people.”

“That’s right,” affirmed Coleman-Jones, “I was really entertained”

Reports also suggest that the scuffle damaged the kebabs that the players had ordered from the kebab shop outside the strip club, and that when the fight was over, the players ordered more kebabs.

“It’s important for elite athletes to keep up their nutrition,” Stack said.

Image: NuNa

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s