The former NRL star then remained on stage to congratulate fellow inductees John Hopoate, Nick Stevens, Russell Packer, Sam Newman, Willie Mason, Robert Lui and Sonny-Bill Williams.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. Kiwi international and Sydney Roosters player Shaun Kenny Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while Corey Norman from the Parramatta Eels won in 2016.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Todd Carney.

The all-star cast defeated a long list of former and current football stars who received nominations during 2016 for Australia’s most sought after inter-code award.

O’Neill declined the offer to make an acceptance speech and just stood dumbfounded on stage in his underwear. In his place, former AFL player and current Footy Show star, Newman, grabbed the microphone and launched into a bigoted, misogynystic, racist, homophobic, sexist rant which included excuses for pulling out of the race for Melbourne Lord Mayor.

Newman only stopped talking when he felt a pleasurable sensation in his nether regions courtesy of Hopoate, but before Newman could express his gratitude, attention was drawn to the left of the stage where Stevens and Lui were fighting for the right to abuse the glamorous young ladies who had previously presented them with their plaques.

NRL bad boy Packer stepped in to separate the two but ended up on his back after Stevens’ current girlfriend, Amelia Miller, whacked him in the back of the head with her designer label clutch and stomped on his head with 6-inch Gucci heels.

Miller then posted victorious photos of the bloodied heels on social media.

Williams stood back during the entire melee, deciding, firstly, which young lady he should invite into the toilet cubicle and, secondly, which warring party would offer him the most money for his services.

Mason made a general nuisance of himself and just got in everyone’s way, before reminding everyone of Sydney’s lockout laws and the need to wrangle a taxi driver to carry them to King’s Cross.

First published in January 2017.

Image:Nuna