Cavorting with a coward-punch killer has earned Andrew Fifita his first Frownlow Medal nomination and solved the mystery behind the FKL on the Rugby League player’s wrist.
The Cronulla Sharks player submitted the official police warning to the judges of the award and explained to them that F stands for Frownlow, K for Killer and L for League.
The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. The first medal was awarded to Sydney Roosters and New Zealand representative Shaun Kenny-Dowall in 2015.
The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Todd Carney.
Fifita has reportedly been paying prison visits to Kieran Loveridge, who killed an innocent young man with one of the most famous coward punches in Australian history.
Ironically, the coward punch helped to instigate the Lockout Laws which are seriously harming the ability of footballers to perform off the field and thus earn themselves Frownlow Medal nominations.
Fifita first auditioned for a place in a crime gang in 2015, when he and twin brother David abused a referee at a junior rugby league match in The Shire.
The Hobbits didn’t take kindly to this behaviour, so Fifita sought solace and advice from his Sharkies teammates and fellow nominees Paul Gallen, Jack Bird and Valentine Holmes.
Fifita also channeled the scandal skill of Frownlow front-runner Corey Norman, who was earlier reprimanded for associating with criminals during a night out with Junior Paulo and James Segeyaro.
No one is accusing the rampaging Fifita of being a criminal himself, although that rats tail haircut must surely be under investigation by the fashion police.
First published in September 2016.