Mystery Penis Not Mature Enough For The Frownlow Medal.



The mystery penis at the centre of the latest off-field scandal to hit the NRL has been deemed too immature to be nominated for The Frownlow Medal.

The appendage belongs to an as yet unknown Wests Tigers Holden Cup player who shared his emerging manhood with the world via social media in an attempt to join the long list of NRL players who have already been nominated for this year’s award.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. The first medal was awarded to Sydney Roosters and New Zealand representative Shaun Kenny-Dowall in 2015.

“The member is not a fully fledged member of the NRL. As a Holden Cup representative, it is not mature enough and thus ineligible for nomination” read a statement from The Frownlow Medal judging committee.

“Furthermore, initial photographic analysis has not determined whether the member was pointing towards Balmain or Campbelltown at the time of the incident.”

“However, there is sufficient evidence to suggest that with further growth and development in subsequent years it can look forward to a very long and successful career in the NRL.”

The judging committee also commented on the failure of the club and the NRL to reveal the name of the player.

“The Wests Tigers are thought to be conducting an internal investigation. Perhaps the player should have conducted his own internal investigation before providing club sponsors with some unanticipated exposure.”

First published in April 2016.

Image: Nuna


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