Collingwood Football Club has recruited Grant Hackett in a desperate attempt to win The Frownlow Medal and salvage its lacklustre season.
Hackett will perform the role of non-playing mentor to Collingwood’s players after club CEO Gary Pert persuaded the former swim star to sign on the dotted line as they shared a recent flight to Melbourne.
Pictures released shortly after the flight suggested that Pert was assisting an intoxicated Hackett from the plane, but it has since been revealed that Pert was embracing Hackett in celebration, after the Olympic great agreed to terms.
The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. The first medal was awarded to Sydney Roosters and New Zealand representative Shaun Kenny-Dowall in 2015.
The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players who receive media attention for similarly scandalous behaviour and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Todd Carney.
“This season has been disappointing, to say the least, but it is hoped that the mid-season acquisition of Grant Hackett will reverse the fortunes of this proud club by winning us The Frownlow Medal,” beamed an optimistic Pert.
“Grant ticks all the boxes of a Frownlow winner, or even a Frownlow Hall of Fame inductee, and it was a stroke of enormous good fortune that I enjoyed the privilege of being seated next to Grant on the flight recently and was thus able to discuss with him the prospect of joining our organisation.”
Collingwood began the 2016 season poorly and were even threatened with being dismissed from the famous Anzac Day game against Essendon. Victory against Essendon proved they can still secure something from this season, including The Frownlow Medal.
So far, eleven of their players have been nominated for the prestigious inter-code award for testing positive for illicit substances during the off season, but none of these players will be eligible for Frownlow honours until their names are officially released.
Thus, Hackett remains their best chance to secure The Frownlow Medal.
First published in May 2016.