Collingwood Magpies launch Fakebook.

Collingwood Football Club has launched a new social media platform called Fakebook after Jack Ginnivan and Isaac Quaynor were caught rating the attractiveness of women online.

Ginnivan and Quaynor have earned nominations for The Fronwlow Medal for the deleted Tik Tok post, and will spearhead the new social media platform created to rival Facebook.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

Fakebook will be like Facebook in every way, even in it’s creation.

“You know how Facebook was created?” asked Ginnivan at the launch of Fakebook at the MCG.

“By rating women,” explained Quaynor.

“That’s right,” they continued. “That Zuckerberg guy got dropped by his girlfriend or something, so he started a website rating the physical attractiveness of women on his college campus in the States – now it’s a mega corporation.”

“Well, we can rate the physical appearance of women online, so we started Fakebook with some help from the Magpies.”

The players created controversy when they filmed themselves laying in bed, rating the features of women as part of a viral game on TikTok.

“But we’re better than Zuckerberg,” they stated.

“See, we don’t just rate their appearance, we re-rate them after new information is revealed. Zuckerberg didn’t think of that.”

In the viral video, the players say things like:

“She’s a 10, but got some … teeth, like them teeth are going every which way, diagonal, everything,”

“F***** hell. Four.”

“She’s a nine and a half, but is homeless.”

“Two and a half.”

Magpies bosses, still on a high after Jordan De Goey’s latest Frownlow nomination, explained the decision to appoint Ginnivan and Quaynor as ambassadors of Fakebook.

“Ginnivan and Quaynor have proven their ability to rate women based purely on physical appearance, and this is why they will be the faces of the new platform.”

“Furthermore, the TikTok post is crass, immature, popular, lame, offensive, poorly-made and divisive, and this is exactly the kind of content which has made Facebook so successful. Fakebook will be even more successful because all of it’s content will be produced by professional footballers.”

The TikTok video which prompted the creation of Fakebook showed Ginnivan and Quaynor giving women constantly low ratings, which might explain why they’re lying in bed together shirtless.

Image: http://www.onlymelbourne.com.au

Toby Rudolf praises his mentor after Frownlow nomination.

NRL player Toby Rudolf channelled Scott Morrison during a post-match interview and his offensive comments have earned him a nomination for The Frownlow Medal.

The Cronulla forward drew inspiration from the prime minister, and Sharks no. 1 ticket holder, when he made comments derogatory to women following Cronulla’s first-round victory over the Dragons. When asked how he would celebrate, Rudolf said on live TV, he would drink…

 “1,000 beers”, and “Go to Northies, try and pull something – anything will do.”

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

It is not known whether Rudolf did or didn’t pull something – though with that kind of charm and eloquence, it’s hard to imagine he wouldn’t.

“How good is ScoMo!” Rudolf said when learning of his Frownlow nomination.

“He taught me everything I know about how to talk about women, and how to respect women. He’s been giving all the boys lectures and classes after training about how to treat women, and I just took that on board when I had to do the interview after the game.”

“And when Scotty said women should think themselves lucky that they weren’t shot at that protest the other day. Mate, how good!, I wish I’d thought of that.”

Rudolf has nominated Morrison as his plus 1 for the grand awards night of The Frownlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame to be held later this year, and is tipped to replace Marise Payne as the federal Minister for Women.

Image: NuNa