Collingwood Magpies launch Fakebook.

Collingwood Football Club has launched a new social media platform called Fakebook after Jack Ginnivan and Isaac Quaynor were caught rating the attractiveness of women online.

Ginnivan and Quaynor have earned nominations for The Fronwlow Medal for the deleted Tik Tok post, and will spearhead the new social media platform created to rival Facebook.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

Fakebook will be like Facebook in every way, even in it’s creation.

“You know how Facebook was created?” asked Ginnivan at the launch of Fakebook at the MCG.

“By rating women,” explained Quaynor.

“That’s right,” they continued. “That Zuckerberg guy got dropped by his girlfriend or something, so he started a website rating the physical attractiveness of women on his college campus in the States – now it’s a mega corporation.”

“Well, we can rate the physical appearance of women online, so we started Fakebook with some help from the Magpies.”

The players created controversy when they filmed themselves laying in bed, rating the features of women as part of a viral game on TikTok.

“But we’re better than Zuckerberg,” they stated.

“See, we don’t just rate their appearance, we re-rate them after new information is revealed. Zuckerberg didn’t think of that.”

In the viral video, the players say things like:

“She’s a 10, but got some … teeth, like them teeth are going every which way, diagonal, everything,”

“F***** hell. Four.”

“She’s a nine and a half, but is homeless.”

“Two and a half.”

Magpies bosses, still on a high after Jordan De Goey’s latest Frownlow nomination, explained the decision to appoint Ginnivan and Quaynor as ambassadors of Fakebook.

“Ginnivan and Quaynor have proven their ability to rate women based purely on physical appearance, and this is why they will be the faces of the new platform.”

“Furthermore, the TikTok post is crass, immature, popular, lame, offensive, poorly-made and divisive, and this is exactly the kind of content which has made Facebook so successful. Fakebook will be even more successful because all of it’s content will be produced by professional footballers.”

The TikTok video which prompted the creation of Fakebook showed Ginnivan and Quaynor giving women constantly low ratings, which might explain why they’re lying in bed together shirtless.

Image: http://www.onlymelbourne.com.au

Jordan De Goey has had enough.

Jordan De Goey is fed up. He’s sick of it. He’s had enough.

The AFL player is sick and tired of being nominated for The Frownlow Medal again and again and never winning the award. For Jordan, enough is enough.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.

De Goey is so angry at not winning the medal that he used a phrase/hashtag that is used to highlight entrenched gender inequality or the plight of mass shooting victims in the USA. On a recent social media rant attacking the media and other critics, he used the phrase ‘enough is enough’ to compare his plight to the plight of people who suffer some of the worst fate imaginable.

The post provoked a massive response from the media, De Goey’s fans, former players and many other people, but they all missed one important fact. What frustrates De Goey more than anything is not winning The Frownlow Medal.

“Enough is Enough,” he said.

“What else do I have to do?”

“I’ve been nominated so many times for this award and still no medal. Nothing.”

“Look, I got nominated in 2017, 2018 and 2020, then in 2021 I got nominated 3 times for three separate incidents, and now in 2022 I’ve got two nominations. Fair dinkum, what’s a guy gotta do?”

“Even this time, I put in the hard yards for a nomination. I went to Bali – which is full of drunken Aussie bogans – and where everyone ends up doing something stupid. Then I went to a club, I made all these rude gestures to the camera and it went viral. You think it’s easy doing that? You think it just happens? No, it takes planning, the right club, the right lighting, enough refreshments and the right time of the night to act like that – but still no medal. And then, at one point, someone in the video tries to get a chick to take her top off and expose her breasts when she’s lying on the bar, I mean, that’s basically sexual harassment if you think about it, but will I win the medal this year, who knows?”

“And even after that I cried about being mistreated by the media and created even more controversy. I mean, The Frownlow Medal lives off controversy, and I’ve given them enough controversy in the last few years…”

Is De Goey right. Has he done enough to win The Fronwlow Medal in 2022?

Image: Getty Images