Bailey Smith quits AFL.

Bailey Smith has shocked Australia with news that he will quit the AFL to deal with mental health issues following his latest off-field scandal.

Smith was recently punished for appearing in a social media post holding a bag of white powder, and he raised mental health battles when discussing the incident with the media. He has since quit the sport entirely to start a new career.

“I will step aside from the AFL immediately,” Smith announced through a prepared statement.

“I have made this difficult decision for reasons of mental health. My battles with mental health have been well documented, even after my latest off-field scandal and subsequent nomination for The Fronwlow Medal.”

His next career move was as big a shock as his decision to leave the sport.

“I will spend six months of the year as a school teacher and the next six months as a nurse, so that I can gain a more accurate understanding of mental health struggles,” the Western Bulldogs star explained.

“I will teach secondary students, most likely as a PD/H/PE teacher, for the remainder of this year. I chose teaching because I want to learn exactly what mental health struggles look like. I want to experience the constant drain of secondary school teaching in underfunded schools where teachers are overworked and underpaid and constantly under attack from parents and students. I want to understand the mental health strain on people who are vital to the nation but are completely undervalued and often criticised by Australian society, in contrast to footballers who are adored for simply playing a game they love.”

“On a personal note, I want to feel what it’s like to be ignored, teased, criticised or even physically attacked by teenagers, including some who’ll become professional footballers in a few years time. If you’d heard the stories the boys tell in the locker room about their school days, you’d know what I mean.”

Australians were just as shocked to learn that a person with no teaching experience or qualifications could simply walk into a full-time teaching position, but such is the shortage of teachers in Australia – created largely through the mental health strain placed on teachers.

After teaching for six months, Smith then plans to work as a nurse.

“I will work as a nurse for similar reasons,” he outlined.

“I want to truly understand the mental health strain of working an extremely stressful and underpaid job which was made a lot worse during the pandemic, and was bad enough before COVID-19.”

“I want to live through the emotional and psychological strain of caring for sick, injured, scared, smelly, dirty, abused, unstable, violent, dying people on a daily basis without proper remuneration or even adequate personal protection equipment.”

“I also want to be on the other side when a professional footballer abuses drugs or alcohol and has to be saved from themselves.”

Bailey then explained exactly why he had chosen these two careers above any other.

“Above all, I want to know what it’s like to be given gratitude instead of a reasonable wage.”

The nursing and teaching jobs will keep Smith out of the AFL until June 2023. Will the social media darling be back in the AFL, and back into contention for The Fronwlow Medal?

Only time will tell. Or maybe he will be back on the field once he reviews his bank balance.

Image: AAP, James Ross

What exactly did Justin Horo offer Frownlow judges?

Former NRL player Justin Horo offered a rolled up bill to judges of The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame, but it is unclear whether the gift was money or cocaine – or both.

Horo is desperate to be inducted into the hall of fame alongside some of the greats of Australian sport, or at least determined to be invited to the Frownlow after party later this year. He earned his nomination after being caught with cocaine inside a rolled up $100 note at a Sydney bar in 2021.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

Horo pleaded guilty to possessing a prohibited drug at the Golden Sheaf Hotel in Sydney and was given a 12-month conditional release order and avoided conviction. He was apparently lining up for the toilets when police approached him and demanded he empty his pockets. They then found cocaine on him.

Immediately after the ruling, he posted a bizarre message on social media. He also claimed he took the drugs to sober himself up because he’d been drinking all day.

Horo is welcome to consume as many drugs as he wants at the Frownlow awards after party, via a rolled up note or any other apparatus he chooses. He can do so in the toilets, lining up for the toilets or nowhere near the toilets, and can post images of himself in all sorts of compromising positions alongside Australia’s greatest role models – professional footballers.

Image: NuNa

Corey Norman’s love affair with The Frownlow Medal.

Corey Norman won The Frownlow Medal in 2016 and has been deeply committed to the award ever since. The NRL player has received a total of eight nominations and was recently involved in the illegal house party which ended Paul Vaughan’s career.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while AFL player Elijah Taylor is the most recent recipient.

Norman just can’t stay away from the Frownlow. He earned nominations in 2016, 2018, 2019 and 2021, and his highlight reel includes:

Being caught with illict drugs outside a Sydney casino.

Being photographed with known criminals on social media.

Being the subject of a leaked sex tape.

Being invloved in the Parramatta Eels salary cap scandal.

Intoxication and anti-social behaviour at a Sydney nightspot.

Appearing in a leaked video in which another man takes illicit drugs.

Breaching COVID-19 bio security protocols at a house party with Dragons teammates during lockdown. Reportedly fleeing the scene on foot and leaving behind his phone, wallet and car…with personalised number plates.

Getting into a street fight alongside James Segeyaro outside Northies in Cronulla.

Most ironically of all, Norman and Segeyaro run a clothing business together. It’s name? YTKR – You Know the Rules.

Image: NuNa