Fondlers, Teachers, Rapists (?) and Breachers battle for The Frownlow Medal.

The Frownow Medal has become a battle between the Breachers, the Teachers, the Fondlers and three alleged rapists in 2020, and the winner will be announced in a matter of weeks. While the nominees prepare for the awards night for The Frownlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame, we take a look at the favourites for the most prestigious award in Australian sport.

Elijah Taylor is favourite at the time of writing. The AFL player pleaded guilty to physically assaulting his partner and has already been awarded a Wife Beater tattoo, as well as being fined and dropped by the Sydney Swans.

Taylor is not in prison, but NRL players Jarryd Hayne, Jack de Belin and Tristan Sailor could be. Hayne is currently in court for alleged sexual assault of a woman, and will be hard to beat if he is found guilty. Sailor and de Belin face similar charges but may not complete their court cases in 2020, so may have to hope for Frownlow glory in 2021.

Manase Fainu is also waiting for the courts to decide his fate. The rookie NRL player is still up on charges of stabbing someone – at a church dance.

The (alleged) rapists also have to contend with the Teachers and the Breachers.

NRL players Jayden Okunbor and Corey Harawira-Naera are the Teachers. They offered private study sessions to teenage girls they met on an official Canterbury Bulldogs school visit, and were sacked by the NRL. They were later welcomed back into the NRL, as the girls were of legal age, and because the girls drastically improved their grades.

A total of 31 players breached strict COVID-19 protocols this year, and earned Frownlow nominations as a result. The most famous was Nathan Cleary, whose performance on TikTok impressed fans more than his performance for the Panthers in the Grand Final. Lachie Hunter’s breach included alcohol abuse, fleeing the scene, drink driving and smashing into parked cars, including one that belonged to his girlfriend’s parents – awkward.

Footy Fondlers

AFL players clearly have a fascination with other players’ private parts. Cameras caught Nick Vlastuin, Jack Riewoldt, Jayden Short, Dan Butler, Jayden Hunt and Christian Petracca practising their handballs with their teammates.

Dual nominee

Tyson Stengle earned two nominations in one year. The first for drink driving in an unregistered car while disqualified from driving, and the second for possession of illicit drugs.

Yet again, AFL and NRL players dominate the nominations for The Frownlow Medal. Rugby Union and Football players did not earn a single nomination, while the NRL earned 31 and the AFL 23. Will Taylor become the first player to win the award outright for the AFL?

Image: NuNa

Jesse Hogan changes his name to Adam.

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AFL player Jesse Hogan has changed his name to Adam after
succumbing to temptations of the flesh and earning himself a nomination for The
Frownlow Medal. The Fremantle Dockers player breached COVID-19 quarantine
procedures after inviting a woman to his home upon return from the AFL hub.

Hogan has informed his family, fans, teammates and his
lawyer, that he will now be known as Adam because he was physically incapable
of resisting the seductive charm of an unidentified young woman (known only as
Eve) after being inside the AFL team hub for so long.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour
epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the
status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s
four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football
League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby
competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015,
while NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

Hogan has been fined after he invited the woman to his home, to share an
apple, just moments after returning to WA from the Dockers team hub in Queensland where he
had been living according to the strict coronavirus conditions
during the AFL regular season. He now becomes the 31st professional footballer
to earn a Frownlow nomination in 2020 for breaching COVID-19 bio-security
protocols.

This is not the first time Hogan’s lawyer has had to find an excuse for his
client’s wrong doing. While still known as Jesse, Hogan was dropped from
Fremantle’s first game of the 2019 season for breaking the team’s booze ban. He
arrived at training intoxicated after a night drinking, then a video emerged online of him
stumbling around drunk in his underwear and a Santa suit.

His lawyer’s excuse on that occasion was that Hogan was suffering from
clinical anxiety.

During this most recent incident, Hogan apparently told the woman not to park
in his driveway, in an indication that he knew she should not have been at his
house. He will now be forced to carry out the rest of his quarantine in a
hotel.

After blaming an attractive young woman for his wrongdoing, Hogan will be
given a copy of Anne Summers’ book ‘Damned Whores and God’s Police’ to help
pass the time, and he has been told that he cannot order apple with his room
service.

Image: NuNa

 

Harley Bennell joins The Breachers.

AFL player Harley Bennell has become the latest professional footballer to be nominated for The Frownlow Medal for breaching COVID-19 protocols. Bennell apparently left the Melbourne Demons’ high performance centre on the Sunshine Coast to visit another premises outside of the bubble.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

Bennell has been removed from the centre to avoid possibly contaminating other players and was suspended for four matches, while the club was fined $50,000.

This is Bennell’s fourth nomination for The Frownlow Medal in three years, after he was nominated twice in 2017 and once last year, for incidents such as driving offences, alcohol abuse, drug use and being kicked off a flight.

With Melbourne currently sitting ninth on the ladder, the next time Bennell sees his teammates and fellow AFL players is likely to be at the awards night for The Frownlow Medal and the Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame later this year.

Image: NuNa

Do you want to play for the Brisbane Broncos this year?

If you’ve ever dreamt of playing NRL for the Brisbane Broncos this might be your chance, because 10 more players breached COVID-19 protocols and the club might not have any eligible first-grade players for the rest of the season.

Kotoni Staggs, Jake Turpin, David Fifita, Cory Paix, Keenan Palasia, Sean O’Sullivan and Corey Oates joined three development players at the Everton Park Hotel in Brisbane and earned nominations for The Frownlow Medal, as well as $140,000 in fines for the club. The players will each be fined 5% of their salary.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

The breach brings to 27 the number of professional footballers who have earned Frownlow nominations for coronavirus breaches in 2020, and continues the horror year for the Broncos.

The proud club started the season with serious injuries to many key players and is one place away from the wooden spoon. They are in a public spat with one of their young stars, Tevita Pangai Jr. who also broke bio-security protocols to attend the opening of a barber shop. Even club legend Alan Langer, who spends 80 minutes on the field every game anyway, can’t make a comeback because he breached bio-security regulations to have a drink at a pub and was nominated for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

Oates and Fifita, meanwhile, earn their second Frownlow nominations. Oates was nominated in 2017 for a bromantic tiff with Broncos legend Justin Hodges, while Fifita got himself locked up after a pub fight in Bali last year. The Broncos bailed Fifita out, but he still decided to sign a contract with the Gold Coast Titans for next season.

Some NSW residents and NRL fans must love what they’re seeing at the Broncos this year.

Image: NuNa

Double fault earns Buckley and Sanderson a nomination for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

The biggest double fault in their careers has earned Former AFL players Nathan Buckley and Brent Sanderson nominations for The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

Buckley and Sanderson played a seemingly innocent game of tennis which was in breach of the AFL’s COVID-19 bio-security protocols, and the Collingwood coaches were served a $25,000 fine and forced to self-isolate for 24 hours.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Julian O’Neill.

The head coach and assistant coach formed a doubles partnership for the tennis game, and were punished because the pair they played against were not members of the Collingwood team’s COVID-19 bubble. They are not the first football coaches to be punished for breaching protocol. Former NRL players, and now coaches, Wayne Bennett and Alan Langer were punished for the same offence within the past few weeks.

Speaking to the media after the incident, Buckley said;

“I need to be better”

But it’s unclear whether he needs to improve his adherence to the COVID-19 regulations, or his serve and volley game.

The Collingwood stalwarts have requested adjacent seats at the awards night for The Frownlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame, where they can celebrate with many other Magpies players who were also found guilty of breaches this year.

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Elijah Taylor joins The Breachers.

AFL player Elijah Taylor becomes the 17th professional footballer to breach COVID-19 bio-security protocols and has subsequently been suspended for the remainder of the season and nominated for The Frownlow Medal.

Taylor was punished after his partner entered the Sydney Swans’ quarantine accommodation in Western Australia without permission, which is breach of AFL and WA quarantine regulations.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

Taylor’s mistake resulted in a $50,000 fine for the Swans and severe punishment for the young Swan.

Fans want to know if Taylor will ever play in the AFL again, and if he will sneak his partner into the awards night for The Frownlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame later this year.

Image: NuNa

Dragons star signs in as Paul Vautin at local cafe.

The Frownlow Medal can reveal that NRL player Paul Vaughan signed in under the name Paul Vautin at a cafe in the Illawarra and subsequently earned himself a nomination for the prestigious cross-code award. Vaughan’s alleged attempt to conceal his identity, and his visit to the cafe, are breaches of the NRL’s strict COVID-19 restrictions which players and team staff must obey in order for the competition to continue.

The NSW and Australian representative has not shared the name he allegedly used at the cafe, but The Frownlow Medal can reveal that it was the name of the retired Manly and Roosters player Vautin.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

Sources close to Vaughan explained the decision.

“Well, he says everyone calls him Paul Vautin anyway because their names sound so similar, and because Vautin is on the TV all the time. Plus, Fatty is not exactly known as being a genius so this is the kind of crazy thing he would do, and nobody would question it.”

No one has ever accused rugby league players of being intellectual heavyweights, and Vaughan’s actions support this theory. He chose to visit a cafe in the Illawarra, despite playing for a team based in the Illawarra, which has a very strong interest and tradition in rugby league. Yet he obviously thought he would go unnoticed.

Furthermore, Vaughan used the name of a proud Queenslander who lives in Queensland. Like most Queenslanders, he only leaves the sunshine state for a very good reason, and grabbing a coffee in the Illawarra is not one of them.

At least he didn’t sign in as Jack De Belin.

When a footballer gets in trouble for having a coffee at a cafe, you know we’re living in crazy times.

Image: NuNa

Charlie and The Breachers.

Charlie and The Breachers are set to rock live music venues across the country in a spectacular series of concerts to raise money for footballers struggling to cope with COVID-19 lockdowns. The 15-piece band produces an eclectic mix of genre-bending fusion and are headed by Melbourne Demons players Charlie Spargo and Kysaiah Pickett, who are the latest footballers to be nominated for The Frownlow Medal for breaching COVID-19 protocols.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL player Ben Barba is the most recent recipient.

Spargo and Pickett were suspended for visiting a person’s house on a non-essential visit and committed a breach that has become so common that the offenders could form a rugby league team of their own, and almost field an AFL team. In an effort to meet somewhere in the middle, they formed a band.

Charlie and The Breachers brings together an illustrious list of footballing talent, including Steele Sidebottom and Lynden Dunn from Collingwood, Brandon Zerk-Thatcher and Conor McKenna from Essendon, plus North Melbourne pair Cameron Zurhaar and Nick Larkey.

NRL players Latrell Mitchell, Josh Addo-Carr and Tyrone Roberts-Davis will arrive on dirt bikes while firing rifles into the air before joining the band on stage. Meanwhile, AFL players Lachie Hunter and Tyson Stengle have planned an amazing treat for fans during intermission. The duo will drive an unregistered monster truck over a row of parked cars while attempting to break David Boon’s beer-swilling record.

As well as tinkling the ivories on stage, Port Adelaide player Ollie Wines will overlook catering at the concerts, and promised that beer would not be the only drink on tap, while concert organisers are still awaiting RSVPs from the entire Adelaide Crows team.

As a result of players breaching protocol throughout the country, entertainment venues and clubs will be forced to shut down again, meaning Charlie and The Breachers will be forced to play all of their concerts in an empty stadium and livestream them via Tik Tok. Lead guitarist Nathan Cleary promised he could arrange some back up dancers.

Image: NuNa