Collingwood Football Club has launched a new social media platform called Fakebook after Jack Ginnivan and Isaac Quaynor were caught rating the attractiveness of women online.
Ginnivan and Quaynor have earned nominations for The Fronwlow Medal for the deleted Tik Tok post, and will spearhead the new social media platform created to rival Facebook.
The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Jarryd Hayne is the most recent recipient.
Fakebook will be like Facebook in every way, even in it’s creation.
“You know how Facebook was created?” asked Ginnivan at the launch of Fakebook at the MCG.
“By rating women,” explained Quaynor.
“That’s right,” they continued. “That Zuckerberg guy got dropped by his girlfriend or something, so he started a website rating the physical attractiveness of women on his college campus in the States – now it’s a mega corporation.”
“Well, we can rate the physical appearance of women online, so we started Fakebook with some help from the Magpies.”
The players created controversy when they filmed themselves laying in bed, rating the features of women as part of a viral game on TikTok.
“But we’re better than Zuckerberg,” they stated.
“See, we don’t just rate their appearance, we re-rate them after new information is revealed. Zuckerberg didn’t think of that.”
In the viral video, the players say things like:
“She’s a 10, but got some … teeth, like them teeth are going every which way, diagonal, everything,”
“F***** hell. Four.”
“She’s a nine and a half, but is homeless.”
“Two and a half.”
Magpies bosses, still on a high after Jordan De Goey’s latest Frownlow nomination, explained the decision to appoint Ginnivan and Quaynor as ambassadors of Fakebook.
“Ginnivan and Quaynor have proven their ability to rate women based purely on physical appearance, and this is why they will be the faces of the new platform.”
“Furthermore, the TikTok post is crass, immature, popular, lame, offensive, poorly-made and divisive, and this is exactly the kind of content which has made Facebook so successful. Fakebook will be even more successful because all of it’s content will be produced by professional footballers.”
The TikTok video which prompted the creation of Fakebook showed Ginnivan and Quaynor giving women constantly low ratings, which might explain why they’re lying in bed together shirtless.