AFL player Noah Balta is in line to be the next Pope after receiving a glowing reference from a priest and a nomination for The Frownlow Medal.
The Richmond Tiger recently avoided prison for assault and displays the appropriate level of integrity to lead one of the most infamous institutions in history.
The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern-day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes: the men’s and women’s National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. NRL player Shaun Kenny-Dowall won the inaugural medal in 2015, while NRL star Ezra Mam is the most recent recipient.
Balta pleaded guilty to repeatedly punching a man in a car park in regional NSW during a pub crawl in 2024. Court documents and camera footage indicate Balta was intoxicated and ran towards the victim, pushing him with such force he was “airborne” before hitting the ground. The court was told the victim was treated for cuts and bruises to his head and a suspected fractured rib.
Balta claims he was protecting his brother. He would make a fine Christian Soldier.
So strong is his integrity that the premiership winner received a reference from a priest during court proceedings and this led to rumours that he would replace the recently-deceased Pope.
Father Colin McLean described Balta as a “gentle giant”. The magistrate, however, said Balta’s his actions were “completely inappropriate, misguided and [a] disproportionate response”.
Balta has been practising abstinence (from alcohol) in hope of being elected Pope, and completed an anger management course at the Victorian Behaviour Change Centre. He also paid $45,000 compensation to the victim and thus proved to the church that he can negotiate out of court settlements.
The defender will be placed under a night time curfew, however, so may have to deliver evening masses virtually, but may still be able to play AFL games if they allow him to return home before 10pm.
The Catholic church has a dirty history of protecting child abusers, hoarding wealth and being complicit in the colonisation of many indigenous people, and is the perfect place for a disgraced footballer to serve his community corrections order.
Image: NuNa
The Frownlow Medal 